Ahh, spring. What better season in which to explore what happens when MM (male Mensan) meets FM (female Mensan) and opts to pursue the Big M — matrimony? We’re talking about cramming 260 or more IQ points under a single roof and then working out an operations manual to assure a peaceful coexistence.

Opposites attract

Dennis Clinefelter and Jessica Burstrem met in July 2004 through American Mensa's national GenX SIG. He was living in Oregon and she was in Michigan, about to move to Florida for graduate school. They “dated” from opposite sides of the country for two years before getting married in November 2006; now they live together in Arizona with their son, Alex (whom Jessica brought with her from a previous relationship). Their intelligence manifests itself in very different ways.

"He's an engineer and I'm an academic; he's reserved and I'm talkative; he's a conservative and I'm a liberal; he listens to the music of the '80s and I prefer country or hip hop. His biggest pet peeve is my tendency to be a pack rat, and mine is his perfectionism," Jessica said. "But we also share mutual loves of reading, watching movies, playing games, laughing, traveling and spending time with our Mensa friends across the country."

"Thank you, Mensa!"

After moving to Dallas in 1999, Marona Posey's best escape was to stay at home curled up with a good book. "The local Mensa group and I didn't get very acquainted," she said. "After going through a horrible divorce, I decided marriage wasn't for me and was very happy with my decision."

Then, in December 2001, Marona and a girlfriend decided to attend two parties scheduled for the same night. It was Marona's first Mensa function in more than a year. Although they planned to leave early, they soon spotted two men they'd never seen before. "I love baldheaded men, so I immediately began to scheme to talk to the man with the shiny head and a rim of white hair," Marona said.

"Joe is my soul mate," she continued. "We are both extroverts, love to travel and have been almost around the world. We have a huge family between us and live out in the country on seven acres. We have yet to have a cross word between us, and we were married five years in January. We are now both retired, and I can truthfully say I am the happiest I have ever been. Thank you, Mensa!"

Speaking in "Mensa Code"

However, John and Mark think very differently. John is a chemist with a very visual, literal way of thinking. Mark is a paralegal, a word person who tends to think more in metaphor. While Mark acknowledges the differences are challenging at times, they manage to resolve differences without (much) rancor. "We each have gifted the other with the better parts of our personalities, and our partnership is greater and more exciting than our separate lives," he said.

Brilliant minds think alike

Tony and Kim Jackowski of Olathe, Kan., must get along well; they're co-chairing the 2008 Annual Gathering in Denver. Both insist theirs was a case of love at first sight. So what’s the best advice they can give to a Mensan couple?

"When you are used to being first with the right answer, it can be hard to adjust to living with someone else who is also used to being first with the right answer," Kim said. "So be patient when he or she states the (to you) obvious or tells you the best way (the one you already had in mind) to do something. It’s easy to forget that brilliant minds think alike."

They also believe that the family who plays together, stays together. "Both of us have become quite active in the local Boy Scout programs with our sons, and we each enjoy it tremendously," Tony said.

A little more love every day

John Olsen and Thea Wills, both members of Orange County (Calif.) Mensa, say they love each other a little more each and every day.

"My biggest surprise is that, after 14 years of marriage, my wife is still my best friend and we always want to be together," John said. "I knew there would be trade-offs, but in reality, is has turned out to be mostly positive with very little downside. Either that or I’ve been married so long that I’ve completely forgotten what my bachelor days were like."

"I’m still slightly amused that, after so many years, he still cannot get his dirty shorts and socks into the hamper," Thea said. "But really, one of my biggest surprises is how hard it is to stay svelte when my husband is such a good cook and how many woman are envious that he clips coupons, shops and cooks for me! I’m also surprised and delighted that a man can be as monogamous and committed to a relationship as I am. And marrying for humor really is a good idea."

Left brain, right brain, whole brain

And then there is Cookie Bakke and her husband, Russ Bakke, who is currently chairman of American Mensa. Cookie has been heard to describe her relationship with Russ as follows: "When we officially tied the knot in 1985, the bets were 1,000 to 1 that it wouldn’t, couldn’t, last. But it’s still very much alive. I am completely right-brained, and he is completely left-brained, so together we make a whole brain."

Parts of this feature were excerpted and updated from an article by Cookie Bakke in the February 2003 Mensa Bulletin. Parts have been submitted for inclusion by the Mensans involved. Are you a Mensan couple? Submit your story and comments for next year's Valentine's feature!

Interested in making a Mensan match of your own? Many of our Local Groups have active singles groups, and many of our national Special Interest Groups appeal to singles as well. Consider joining today!